How to deal with workplace conflict when it throws you into a wobble…
workplace conflict
Do you remember this toy from the pre-internet era?
It’s a Weeble.
A vintage toy from the 70s and 80s, known for the ad slogan…
“Weebles wobble but they don’t fall down.”
No matter how many times you tried to pull the Weeble down, it would always wobble its way back to being centered and balanced again.
When workplace conflict tries to pull you down and throw you into a wobble, wouldn’t it be great to be resilient like a Weeble and quickly return to equilibrium?
It would save so much wasted time and energy spent on negative communications and make space for a more positive, clear and healthy response to workplace conflict.
The space between right and wrong, between trigger and reaction. However, to reach that space you need to know what your default wobble state is. We all have one…
They tend to fall into these drama states:
- Persecutor
- Rescuer
- Victim
Defined by Dr. Stephen Karpman’s ‘drama triangle’ model of human interactions.
Once you know what your triggers are and what your default ‘drama’ state is, you have the power to pull yourself out of the wobble by choosing to respond to the challenge rather than to react to workplace conflict.
Persecutor>Challenger
If your default drama state were Persecutor, you would choose to move from being driven by anger and resentment – critical put downs, blame, domineering, bossy to….
… being a challenger with a clear structure – ‘This is what I need you to do… What support do you need? This is when it needs to be done…’
Rescuer>Coach
If your default drama state were Rescuer, you would choose to move from feeling guilty and anxious if you don’t rescue (rescuing creates a sense of being capable) to…
… being willing to listen without the problem being yours to solve – ‘I know you can do this…’
Victim>Survivor
If your default drama state were Victim, you would choose to move from feeling oppressed, helpless and powerless to…
… a problem solving approach stating what you want.
You make YOU. You are stronger than you think!
workplace investigations
when you need us
You have received a grievance, complaint, dignity @work claim etc. or there has been an incident at work where you need to properly establish what has happened, what actions if any need taken and you need to move forward for the best interests of the people involved and your business You don’t have the capacity or capability to undertake this yourself or you need independence due to others in your organisation being already involved in the case in some way
what we do for you
You will get a report which is proportionate to the seriousness of the issue/s, covering the evidence gathered, any breaches of policies or procedures, conclusions on each allegation and where there has been a grievance recommendation for resolution and any learning identified
benefit to you
You will receive a report which supports you to clearly see what you need to do next, which holds its own in relation to appeals and other proceedings, the highest level of independence which is critical particularly when the issues are complex and the knowledge that you and your issues are safe with us